I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
