if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I looked at my own cervix.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Ladies don't puke and tell
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize