We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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