Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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