I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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