So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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