Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
