What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
