this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
