The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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