just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
