But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A+ Viking dick
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
