I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
