You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
