Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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