oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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