I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
