I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
