if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
