once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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