She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
