? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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