She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
