why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She bit a glass in half.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
