she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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