I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
