im six kinds of drunk right now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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