Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
