she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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