Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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