she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I use my feet as sexual weapons
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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