i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
