Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
