Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Randomize
