Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize