Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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