He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
