so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
