please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
