If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
