I wanna passion pit in your ass
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
