If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
