tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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