you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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