Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
