Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
