My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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