I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
