Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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