I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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