OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize