we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do vagina's smell?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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