Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize