This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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