I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
