I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize