He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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