Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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