its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
tequila makes me forget i have legs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
