His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
