You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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