I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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