You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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