dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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