I like to think it a success when the cops are called
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
