On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
