Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
