If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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