do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
